Monday, January 31, 2022

Contextual Snippet

While reading 'Children of Men' last night* discovered my own thoughts flowing, simultaneously, in and out of the books prose, like a subterranean spring, occasionally popping above ground, then back below, but ever present...  

It was an interesting sensation, to be aware of my own thoughts - somewhat autonomous, somewhat influenced - and still in the experience of reading a book I thoroughly enjoyed. 

And I realized this has probably  been happening a long time, this simultaneity, but now I've somehow peeled a layer to include awareness of both. 

Similar to seeing 'Murder Alley' Sunday, when w/KB and I were 1 of 4 people in the entire theater. 

I realized as I watched, that not only was I watching the movie, but that I was experiencing it contextually, within the setting of the strangely deserted movie theater, and also in the context of my friendship w/KB, but also in the context of my own current life - all  manifestations of something more integral... 

*great read btw, if you haven't already. And yes they made a movie w/Clive Owens. Also well done - and esp. well cast as nobody does world-weary and disaffected like Clive, but the book! So on the nose as cypher for current events... Hmmm. Maybe I'll just have to write a more extended, stand alone thought on that... 

Sunday, June 09, 2019

George Jetson

Dreamt I was immortal

- outside of time and space -
witness to a never-ending series

Big Bangs
and subsequent collapse

(like a helix in my mind)

and I thought,
where's the exit?


Thursday, May 30, 2019

Minute Mindfulness

I've got 8 minutes before I have to leave for work -but- a lot can happen in 8 minutes, I've discovered.

How did I discover this?

I got old.

Funny thing, getting old is usually associated with time accelerating - 'cause your nominative experience accumulates and increments of time dwindle in comparison.

But then there's this other thing that occurs as we age - the awareness that life is precious, as is the moment.

And yeah, it's a zen thing but discard the Z word for now.

In fact, just forget all words...

(well, except these of course)

...words being symbols only, and not the meaning itself.

5 minutes to go!

And the meaning?

Comes from first hand experience.

So... I'm in this body, in this place, in this time.

Which can be viewed as a construct to be escaped - the box of space and time - however....

If you believe in an unifying principle... Love or god or the Force, or whatevs - finite things can actually be perceived as a manifestation of the infinite.

The sensation of keyboard clacking under my fingertips, the intermittent birdsong heard through open windows, the feel of my left ankle crossed over the right, jeans bound in between...

Even the awareness of passing time, which might be considered an impediment to mindfulness, can actually be a way in... to deeper awareness.

In itself, another veil to be pierced.... or maybe simply experienced, absorbed, and transcended?

So I can choose to be driven mad by my thoughts... or I can dance with them.

And who am I even talking to right now?

Oops! One minute over.


Saturday, November 03, 2018

Saturday, October 20, 2018


The sun rose up to greet me
I rose to greet it back 


Blah blah blah

Just back from Chi-town to visit wit da fam -and- spent the entire day binge watching 'Maniac' on Netflix. 

Jonah Hill and Emma Stone do a respectable job of not stepping own their own - and each other's - dramatic dicks and I was, if not transported, entertained.

Skinny Jonah is oddly disturbing -but- totally works in this portrayal of a schizophrenic, depressive Owen.

Owen, is the perfect onomonapoetic name btw - no hint of plosive assertion - with both name and character feeling a bit like eating warm oatmeal.

Blah blah blah.

Esp. liked the part about multiple layers of reality with a little psycho-babble thrown in for good measure...

Meanwhile, here are some pics from the trip... 

Sunday, August 12, 2018

The world turns

I cycled to Piestewa this a.m. to hike the hill - mountain I mean (though perhaps a poor excuse for one) -but- Phoenix ain't the rockies -and-  hauling my carcass in an upwards direction seems to make for good exercise.

Did the deal (part way, anyway, as last night's margaritas may've become this morning's malaise, turning back 2/3 of the way up) then got on my bike to head back home.

Yes, I wear spandex. Shows off my butt.

Ok, not really, but age and practicality have long overcome propriety. The padded seat greatly diminishes that 'kicked in the nuts' feel after long rides, plus less chafing and snagging on thorny branches, etc.. Any hue...

At the overpass there's a kid with a shopping cart and a dog.

By kid I mean early 20's - a lil' rough around the edges but with these eyes like a Degrazia painting.

Which could've been part of his schtick - oozing soulful vulnerability - only he's not utilizing pathetic appeal to work the cars stopped at the light...

Instead, he's seated and half hidden behind the concrete embankment - trying to comfort the giant effing dog on his lap - pit bull mix of some sort, who is panting and restless - obviously suffering from the heat.

Gave 'em every last drop out of my camelback, poured into the bottom of a plastic water bottle he'd cut in half.

Then went a couple blocks, bought some more water at a gas station and doubled back.

Kid thanked me, said "its more appreciated than you'll ever know" and I had to bolt away before I started to cry.

Which I did, anyway.

And am now, again.