Hallmark Moment

(excerpt from a recent phone conversation with my father)

Me: What's up?

Him: Little Buddy.

(pause)

Me: Really?

I should mention that "little buddy" is my father's name for his penus...

Him: Mommie's here.

Me: Oh. Right.

Him: She's back from Denver.

Me: No kidding. Guess where I'm going tomorrow.

Him: Denver?

Me: Yup. Vail, actually, for a volleyball tournament.

Me: Well... tell her I said "hello," then. (slight pause) After you're done, of course.

Me: And Dad?

Him: Yes, son.

Me: Jesus and I love you.

On Quills & Needles

Yeah, okay, its been a while since I've blogged but I haven't had much to talk about, lately.

(pause)

Okay, well... there's the whole we're-gonna-live-together... no-we're-not... yes-we-are... no-we're-not thing.

But that's not totally unexpected:

Question: How do Porcupines make love?
Answer: Very carefully.

And so it goes. More on this situation as it develops.

Also, news flash, I recently went to the Doctor's (the holistic Doctor, that is) for a check up. They took fluids of various and sundry sorts and I, well, I was pretty damn chill, even if I do say so myself.

Now, let me point out what an unlikely occurance this really is - since I was a wee lad, I've been deathly afraid of anything medical! To this day, the smell of rubbing alcohol sends my heart racing. Really.

So imagine my surprise when I found myself, not only not freaking out, but actually calm and relaxed. At the risk of sounding touchey-feeley, I felt as if if the good folks at Southwestern College of Naturopathic Medicine were actually listening, and communicating -and- were ready to help - not just pounce on me and do something to me.

Oh, sure, I got a DRE (if you've never had one, you simply don't know what you're missing!) and was stuck with needles, but, it was a fairly pleasant experience.

Wierd, hunh?

M's Place

Chateau Les Buzzy

Home again, Home again, Jiggity Jig.

Home now (at least what suffices for "home" these days) hanging at M's and plundering her Itunes.

I'm playing Modest Mouse's "Polar Opposites" for the umpteenth time:

I'm trying
I'm trying to
drink away the part o' the day
I cannot sleep awayee!

Gives you that warm happy, glad to be alive feeling. Witness: http://darkcorner.net/concerts/mm/mp3/03-Polar%20Opposites.mp3

Eskimo Art

This is a photo taken by M's friend, Makoto.

Okay, its been somewhat enhanced, but the raw materials are his.

The eskimos say that you can look at a piece of rock or wood and, if you look closely enough, you can see the inner essence waiting to be freed.

This is kind of like that.

I am the Eskimo and his photos, the wood.

Texas Hold 'Em & the Long Island Blues

Played cards last night at a friend's place and, while it was mildly fun, it wasn't way big fun.

Why? Well, first of all, everone's gotta play tournament style now-a-days. Its gotta be Texas and its gotta be tournament style. This means you're in it for the long haul, and, depending on the company, it can be kinda tedious.

Plus the house rules for this particular game were a little funky. Money paid to 1st thru 4th place, which takes away a lot of incentive -and- the blinds went up every round, which is fine in the early goings on, but in heads-up play becomes quickly cumbersome. Blah blah blah.

Yes, I realize this may be somewhat tedious for you non-cardplayers but one of the lovely things about having a blog is the ability to whine or pontificate upon any given topic, ad nauseum.

Don't like it?

Send your moneyback requests to:

Bite Me
1234 Up Yours Lane
Phoenix, AZ 123456

So there I was sitting on a commanding chip lead in heads-up play -but- due to an extremely progressive blind was knocked out after only two hands. So I finished 2nd place and won a whopping $20. Whoopee. Plus I had to witness the amateur version of "Sports Talk" for the duration.

Yes, the progressive blinds are there to speed up play, but then... aw, skip it!

You want to know the real reason I'm bitching? The real reason I'm bitching is because it was boring. BO-O-O-O RI-I-I-ING!

Sure, we're all there to hang out and shoot the breeze, but how long can you sit around and hash over the same mundane crap?

- I thought he came around on the pitch.

- Yeah, but did he break his wrists?

- Guys, there are actually two criteria. The wrists is one. Whether or not the bat went past the front of the plate is the other.

- But the picture clearly shows...

- But is it a picture of the same play?!

Apparently, you can do this for hours. Fascinating stuff.

I never thought I'd pine away for any part of Long Island, but. Those guys knew how to have fun. We'd drink beer, smoke cigarettes and talk about whatever random stuff came up (okay, yeah, we talked about more than our fair shair of acting junk - go figure, a bunch of actors! - but still).

We'd mix it up, play into the wee hours -and- lo and behold, it was... FUN! Sometimes, we'd even go out to breakfast after. Here's to you, all my homeys back on Cell Block C!*

*All apologies to Kid Rock, and, no, it wasn't really prison but L.I. does have a certain, closed-in, impending violence kind of charm. : )

To my former brothers-in-arms:

The impeccable Antoine Jones! The creepy-but-endearing Tim Gillespie! And last, but certainly not least, the lovable man-child, Josh!

I love you guys and hope you are doing well. Or, at the very least, surviving.

(sigh).

So where was I? Oh yeah, cards.

Who the "F" pays out to 4th place with 8 guys playing!