Thursday, June 15, 2006

Hallmark Moment

(excerpt from a recent phone conversation with my father)

Me: What's up?

Him: Little Buddy.

(pause)

Me: Really?
I should mention that "little buddy" is my father's name for his penus...
Him: Mommie's here.

Me: Oh. Right.

Him: She's back from Denver.

Me: No kidding. Guess where I'm going tomorrow.

Him: Denver?

Me: Yup. Vail, actually, for a volleyball tournament.

Me: Well... tell her I said "hello," then. (slight pause) After you're done, of course.

Me: And Dad?

Him: Yes, son.

Me: Jesus and I love you.

Monday, June 05, 2006

On Quills & Needles

Yeah, okay, its been a while since I've blogged but I haven't had much to talk about, lately.

(pause)

Okay, well... there's the whole we're-gonna-live-together... no-we're-not... yes-we-are... no-we're-not thing.

But that's not totally unexpected:

Question: How do Porcupines make love?
Answer: Very carefully.
And so it goes. More on this situation as it develops.

Also, news flash, I recently went to the Doctor's (the holistic Doctor, that is) for a check up. They took fluids of various and sundry sorts and I, well, I was pretty damn chill, even if I do say so myself.

Now, let me point out what an unlikely occurance this really is - since I was a wee lad, I've been deathly afraid of anything medical! To this day, the smell of rubbing alcohol sends my heart racing. Really.

So imagine my surprise when I found myself, not only not freaking out, but actually calm and relaxed. At the risk of sounding touchey-feeley, I felt as if if the good folks at Southwestern College of Naturopathic Medicine were actually listening, and communicating -and- were ready to help - not just pounce on me and do something to me.

Oh, sure, I got a DRE (if you've never had one, you simply don't know what you're missing!) and was stuck with needles, but, it was a fairly pleasant experience.

Wierd, hunh?