I am typing on this, the best of all possible computers (dude, its a Dell!), in the best of all possible condos (sure it's a little "beige", whatever), in this, the best of all possible towns... Phoenix, Arizona, for the uninitiated.
It is truly the best of all possible worlds.
*Yeah, okay, I've just re-read "Candide" and for those of you who don't care for the philosophy of optimism, maybe you'd better just take your christmas goose and get it stuffed somewhere else, comprende? I suppose you could always ask for your money back, but no, wait, that's right, I'm doing this for free - and you're just along for the ride, so maybe you should just kiss my big hairy ass if you don't like it!
Sigh. On the other hand, I do write this crap for a reason, ego gratification or whatever, so maybe I could be a little more, you know, diplomatic or whatever. So, okay, just forget that whole "kiss my ass" thing. Sorry. I'm just feeling a little vulnerable right now, okay? Seriously. No, seriously, dude. Seriously, dude! Oh, just f*ck off, then!
Anyway, the festivities started Friday when T showed up from L.A. and we hoofed over to Carly's for a cold one.
The plan had been to meet up with a couple old buddies, in town for the holidays, and enjoy a rousting boys night out, just like old times. At least that's how Seal had pitched it.
J didn't get the memo, however, and when he brought his girlfriend, the door was opened to a considerably wider demographic. Subsequently, Boys Night Out turned into something more like Holiday Family Fun - cool, but not the same - and T & I ghosted* after the 2nd bar.
Back downtown, we met up with M at the Lost Leaf. M, meantime, had just fallen off the wagon and after 4 dry months was quickly making up for lost time.
Accordingly, we settled in with her at a table next to the bar, hunkered down, rolled up our sleeves, and prepared for a night of "good cheer" (not to mention a little game of "catch up").
A few hours and many drinks later, M, my girlfriend, took advantage of a gap in conversation, to make the following pronouncement:
I sometimes fantasize I have a penis.
And that was just the beginning of the weekend.
*ghosted - vanished: dissappeared: became invisible or unnoticeable