The Inane and the Beautiful

I was coming down Camelback as the sun set today. Not that there's anything highly unusual about me coming down the mountain at this time (assuming the evil rich white people haven't gang tackled me on my way out of work, that is) .

It was a little chilly but I'd taken off my t-shirt and wrapped it around my head to keep from getting an earache. I've gotten them since I was a little kid and a t-shirt seems to be just right for keeping heat loss to a minimum and the wind from whistling in my sweaty little ears. I've tried hats or hatbands but I always, always, lose them. I like to think of this as a display of non-materialism though some might say disorganization. Anyway...

The cold air felt good on my skin, and besides, I like looking like a slightly crazed street person while coming down amidst the inane and the beautiful. Speaking of which:

I passed a beautiful man and woman on my way down today. Maybe perfect is a better way of putting it. They were perfect and beautiful (I bet they had great teeth but I didn't stop to look) and the things they were saying seemed… well, they were so incredibly vacuous that it just seemed scripted. I felt as if I were in some bizarre version of “The Truman Show,” only the show was about me reacting to their unaware, narcissistic ways.

During my 5 minutes within earshot, I discovered:

• He flys a lot to different places and gets comped a lot of rooms and flights.
• She's independently wealthy (giggle) or at least will be after she inherits from papa.
• His parents just got back from a month in Costa Rica. It’s the perfect vacation spot because the natives all speak English and they love Americans and are happy to have us there.
• She woke up in the middle of the night, simply awestruck by how well scripted and acted “24 Hours” is. (I swear)

This last part was spoken at such a volume it felt like she was yelling it directly at me. Either that or she wanted the whole world to know. I have no idea.

Hey, it could've been worse. At least she was talking to someone there with her. She could've been talking on a cell phone.

If you haven't tried this, you should. Get your cell phone, go up Camelback, and then talk about any of the following:

1. Where you should go out tonight. Talk about this endlessly.
2. Please, please, please, shout out how "fucking wasted" you got last night! This one never gets old.
3. Be sure and talk about stocks or investments or maybe just how good you are with money. In fact, say something like "Man, do I have a lot of money!" Then look around to see who really takes notice. These are the people you should hang out with.
4. Oh, and if you drive an expensive car it is your duty to mention it as much as possible. After all, you worked hard for your money (or not, but who cares, really, so long as you have it!) and an expensive car is just another shining example of what you've become.

More later.

Or not.