Odd juxtaposition

So I'm sitting in an examining room, sitting on a little table with bright yellow naugahyde padding and crinkly white paper and I'm waiting for the doctor to come in.

I should mention that I've never been big on Doctors. I was pretty sick as a little kid and have this thing about the smell of rubbing alcohol and deceptively mild tones, but that's a whole other neurotic rambling so let's skip ahead, shall we?

The nurse comes in to take some of my blood.

Now, I'm a pretty big sissy about having my blood taken. I mean, its mine, right? Supposed to reside inside of me? So having it removed from its home seems a little... disconcerting, to say the least.

It's like the smell at hospitals. Ever smell that smell? It could be very faint but is unmistakably omnipresent: The smell of sickness. The smell of disease.

Of course animals freak out when you take them to the vet 'cause they can smell/sense all that wrongness. Having your guts exposed to the light of day is not normal. A poutpurri of puke, shit and whatever other odors that abound in hospitals and/or veterinary clinics - this is not normal. The animal in us responds to this. (At least my animal does. If your animal doesn't - you might want to get that checked. Anywho... )

So I tell the nurse that I'm kinda funny about getting blood drawn. "Funny how?" she says, all business. "Well, you know... I get kinda light headed some time. I've never passed out, but..."

She doesn't say anything but I can sense her exasperation. Here's another seemingly big he-man type (at least I look the part) who is, in fact, a big girl. "Fine" she says, "lay down." So I do. Then she has me breathe, "in through your nose and out through your mouth."

Breathing is actually something I'm pretty good at but she keeps prompting me. "I can't hear you. Breathe louder. In through your nose and out through your...." Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I realize she's drawn the blood while distracting me and I'm fairly impressed. Or maybe I'm just light-headed and woozy but either way, the needle didn't hurt and I haven't made an ass out of myself. So, kudos to her.

About the exam room - I'm there to be tested for STD's/HIV (haven't gone in a while and am doing the responsible single adult thing) and on the wall, directly to my left, are the following two images:

1. A calendar shot of some revoltingly cute puppies or kittens (I can't for the life of me remember which, but they were big-headed, wide-eyed and oh, so cute you could puke)

-and-

2. Right next to them are a montage of full color close-ups of oozing, puss filled chancres and sores. These are people inflicted with herpes, syphyllis and/or whatever. And they look like an illustration for human suffering - something right out of Bosch. I am filled with dread, revulsion and...

Fascination.

And not just fascination. I mean the whole thing - the juxtaposition of the cute, cuddly critters (let's sat cats) and these Hiroshima wannabees is actually... well, its ironic of course, and certainly bizarre, but even beyond these, it pretty amusing. Funny even.

Horrible and funny.